|Volume 107, Issue 7||Opinion|
Break on a budget
By The Index Staff
posted April 18, 2011
Not sure how to spend your long awaited spring break? Well, fret not, Oshkosh offers a plethora of engaging activities to keep you busy. Thus, for your convenience, the Index has carefully chosen 10 of the town’s greatest attractions. Enjoy.
1. Head on down to the intersection of Koeller and 9th and witness the awe inspiring spectacle of construction. Bring your friends, your favorite lawn chair, and as much of your attention span as possible. Or, for the more family oriented, prepare a picnic and sit back and watch as the dust, sparks, debris and profanities fly through the noise polluted air.
2. Gather up your friends into two teams, pack into cars and drive in a figure-eight pattern through Oshkosh roundabouts. Whoever has the least amount of collisions by the end of the day wins! For the truly daring, complete the challenge via moped or bicycle (not recommended).
3. For a somber yet morally satisfying spring break activity, congregate at the ghostly vacant Sonic parking lot. Light a candle, hold hands, ‘hum kumbaya,’ and pay your respect to a fallen downtown attraction in a silent vigil.
4. Enjoy the art of cinema and meander over to the nearest movie theatre where you’ll have the opportunity to drop 13 bucks and view Hollywood’s latest 3D gem. While the meaningless pictures flash on the screen, entertain yourself by systematically wedging your leg between the seats in front of you, waiting for it to fall asleep and then removing it to see how long it takes the blood to rush back.
5. Nothing says “a day at the beach” quite like the muddy, zebra muscle infested shores of Lake Winnebago. This spring break, make a voyage to the great big blue and take a dip in the frigid, radioactive waters. There’s something for everyone, whether it’s a day of sunbathing or coming face to face with interesting variations of the creatures of the deep in a scuba expedition in the murky forest of seaweed and beer cans.
6. As Menards, Lowes and Fleet Farm open their outdoor spring gardens, go on an imaginary safari hunt and see how many employees you can tranquilize before getting arrested. Or, inversely, pretend you’re a jungle cat and hide in the various shrubs, waiting to pounce on any small, unfortunate children that cross your path.
7. Make a trip to Wal-Mart, buy up all of the discontinued Easter candy you can find, and challenge the vagabond that lives in the dairy isle to a Peeps eating contest. If you’re fortunate, you might even leave with a vomit soaked shirt and a tear in the wall of your stomach!
8. Climb the steep, muddy slopes of Oshkosh’s very own Garbage Hill and watch as hungover frat boys pretend to be good at Frisbee Golf. Also, make the most of the late April snowfall and sled down the hill on your backside.
9. Gather up the remainder of your self respect and toss it into the scummy waters of the downtown sundial. Don’t forget to make a wish! In exchange, sift the waters for small change and then take your winnings across the street to the New Moon Café and reward yourself with a piping cup of chai, you earned it.
10. For the small price of twenty dollars, fill your tank with gas and journey southward to Fond du Lac where you’ll encounter sights so horrifying you’ll immediately feel better about your hometown of Oshkosh.
Back to Top
No Reader Comments Yet, Post Your Own Below
© 2006-2007 Oshkosh West Index